Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow’s Queen’s Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street has commissioned the famous comedian Stephen Fry.
Given the smash hit of the Conservative Party election campaign it’s no surprise that Theresa May and her agent Rupert Murdoch have again turned to a proven comedian to come up with the goods for a big occasion.
But conflicting reports are circulating.
Earlier rumours suggested Scottish social critic and hilarious pedlar of filth Frankie Boyle had landed the plum commission.
These reports were squashed when he was arrested acting suspiciously polite at Glasgow airport with a copy of The Scottish Green Party manifesto in his briefcase and a ticket to Barbados in his pocket.
Under interrogation he denied writing tomorrow’s Queen’s Speech, but in a moment of weakness pointed the finger at Fry.
The office of the Prime Minister finally came clean, claiming Stephen Fry has written the speech on commission, putting a pun in every paragraph, whereas a representative of the famous comedian denies any deal has been done.
The Rochdale Herald was unable to speak to Mr Fry or his representatives to confirm or deny the rumours, but we were able to get hold of Hugh Laurie.
This was easy to do as he is currently filming an erotic spin off to ‘House’ called ‘Is there a doctor in the house?’ in a Rochdale housing estate.
“Which character do you want the quote in?” Mr Laurie kindly asked. “Doctor House or Bertie Wooster? If it’s the Conservative Party’s Queen’s Speech I think we better go with Bertie, don’t you?”
