The Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead have been asked by the Queen to prepare to govern Britain.
A spokesman for the Palace explained it was because you could prove their existence, unlike the fanciful ideas believed in by Ms May and the DUP.
Also, “Her Majesty is simply not prepared to miss the Ascot Gold Cup because of some indecisive public official. Plus the manifestos of the Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead seem to have been costed properly.”
It is unclear who is the dominant partner in the coalition but Her Majesty is confident Larry the cat will be on hand to provide guidance when needed. He’s got to give better advice than whoever has been at the job for the last seven years.
“Both the Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead are prepared to go among the people. At times like these this is what is needed. There is more warmth in that Fish Finger’s gaze than Theresa May’s robotic stare.”
Lord Buckethead is clearly the most used to governance, being a space lord, however the Giant Fish Finger looks adept at feeding the poor. After so many years of austerity this is seen as a desirable quality.
It’s expected the pair will request the man in the Elmo costume, who ran against Theresa May, to take over the position of Foreign Secretary, as the most fitting replacement for Boris Johnson.
Howling Lord Strange will be made defence secretary, because why not?
Big Bird will be asked to take on the vital role of Health Secretary. Because he maybe prone to over excitement but at least his surname isn’t Hunt.
Captain Birdseye is to be asked out of retirement. He will be given the job of running the Home Office.
It’s unlikely too many other cabinet positions will be filled until the results of the general election are re-examined. This is to find the most amusing candidates to fill the positions available.
To this end Nick Clegg will be offered the job of Education Secretary.
