Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority for her new government after the disastrous general election result last Thursday.

As an ice breaker between Theresa May and DUP leader Arlene Foster, the two had an informal chat over tea and biscuits. Theresa is said to have had a giggle over the “future’s bright, the future’s orange” quip by Paisley junior in response to the earlier press questions.

Theresa joked about her cringeworthy on-the-spot answer about her being terribly naughty running through a farmer’s field of wheat as a youth, to which one of Arlene’s aides joked,

“At least it wasn’t kneecapping someone eh?”

May is said to have been confused by this and responded,

“Is that some kind of limit to skirt lengths on religious grounds?”

Fortunately, it took a merciful whisper in the ear from one of May’s more, shall we say, worldly wise advisors to take the sting out of the moment. Slightly confused May is said to have retorted,

“Well I guess it could’ve happened in a wheat field”

Well, that broke the uneasiness with an explosion of raucous laughter and apparently the talks have been going well ever since.

Still, nobody is quite sure if Theresa knows what kneecapping is. What we do know is that desperately making deals with religious extremists with links to militants is definitely worse than running through a wheat field.