The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be unemployed Prime Minister and part-time lizard, Theresa May, was due to be appearing on Woman’s Hour this morning but decided to cry off and send Amber Rudd impersonator Justine Greening.
The move follows her decision to not attend the leader’s debate a few days ago and send Justine Greening impersonator, Amber Rudd, to squabble with a bunch of semi-coherent shouty halfwits instead.
“This is the second job interview Mrs May has missed in a matter of days. We really have no choice but to stop her jobseeker’s allowance.” A spokesman for ATOS, “Until we’re sure that she’s serious about getting a proper job after June 9th we won’t be supporting her application for support.”
A spokesperson for Theresa May told the Herald that:
“Theresa was feeling a bit weak and wobbly when she woke up this morning. So she decided to stay in bed until she feels a bit more strong and stable.”
Amber Rudd or Justine Greening, whichever one is supposed to be the Home Secretary or the Education Minister, apparently tipped up to the interview and tried to pass herself off as the Prime Minister before giving the game away by actually answering a question.
The decision is not thought to be a calculated move by Downing Street spin doctors who have noticed that every time she appears on television the Conservatives drop six points in the polls.
A spokesman for Labour has condemned the decision by ATOS saying “you can’t go around sanctioning people’s benefits if they are genuinely feeling weak and wobbly, what kind of society do you want us to be.”
