The Liberal Metropolitan Elite was reeling last night when a delivery of 2 million rubbers was delivered to the wrong address.
The Elite were allegedly planning to fix the upcoming UK General Election by inserting agents in polling booths and counting stations and getting them to rub out the pencil votes of voters. The agents would then put a cross against the party most acceptable to the Elite and recast the vote.
It’s alleged that the plan has backfired though as the rubbers were delivered by Hermes to the incorrect address.
Martin Williams from North London was busy on YouTube deleting all evidence of mass rape in Sweden and didn’t hear the delivery man at the door.
Although Williams had given a safe location for the parcel to be delivered to in the event he wouldn’t be in the parcel was never delivered.
Williams alleges that the delivery man posted a card through the letterbox but it said the parcel was with a neighbour. When Williams checked with the neighbour and the neighbour hadn’t received such a parcel.
Williams has since contacted the delivery company who are adamant that the parcel was delivered and have told Williams he will need signed testimony from the neighbour that they haven’t received the parcel.
A spokesman for the Liberal Metropolitan Elite told the Herald, “You’d think that with the resources we have we’d have been able to hire a van instead of relying on other people. I mentioned this at the time but was shot down by some young investment banker who had a pie chart.”
The Herald has been unable to ascertain why the Elite don’t simply print a bunch of blank voting slips and replace the votes they don’t like with ones they do. This would also have the advantage of not having to order loads of rubbers.
