With the Conservatives promising a return of hunting foxes all over the nation face having to run from a vicious pack of slobbering, howling posh twats on horses and their beagles.
It is an unpopular idea, but the majority of the nation are set to forgive the Tories for bringing back Fox hunting because of the opposition leadership.
“Yeah, I think foxes being ripped to shreds for fun is atrocious but I’m fully prepared to let that happen because I heard Corbyn is a vegetarian and I don’t think a vegetarian should run the country; the Daily Mail said they aren’t strong and stable.” Said Sam Thickly of Nordon.
“We love a good bit of blood sport” says Terrence Poncemby, 2nd Earl of Toffshire
“It would be fantastic fun to ride into crowds of peasants and hack away at them like my great grandfather did at Peterloo; it’s a damn shame the yeomanry doesn’t exist anymore.”
Theresa May made the following statement to an Anti-Hunt group protesting outside of Downing Street.
“Look, systematically killing people off by removing benefits, healthcare and social infrastructure is slow and boring; we need to see blood. It’s either the foxes or your children; frankly as much as we’d love to hunt down your disgusting little street urchins, they are on the whole to malnourished or obese from a low quality diet – it’s just not as exciting.”
