Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast.
“That was the final straw, it done it for me.” He said.
“First me mam couldn’t go swimming cos of them library closures. Tory cuts! Then the shitty road snapped me beast. I thought av got to do summet.”
Mr. Thundlestick, now enthused by the prospect of positive change,
researched each of the parties policies and manifestos;
“I watched that Question Time with what’s his face. It was good ’til that
patronising prick with the big conk opened his mouth. Will Selfish or
summet like that he’s called. I had to turn it over cos it were doing me
box in.”
When the upcoming election was announced, Mr. Thundlestick sprang into
action;
“A thought no way are them shower of shites getting back in, over my dead
body! I’m gonna make a stand. I wasn’t gonna vote for that Corbyn cos he’s
a terrorist and that, and I couldn’t bring meself to vote for Lib Dems cos
me cousin’s a puff.”
He finally made his mind up after taking counsel with an old friend;
“I asked the hippy next door what he’d do, Barry, he’s just moved in and
seems like a nice enough bloke. He said vote for the Green party so that’s
what am gonna do. That’ll show the tory scum.”
