Britain First members were baffled this week when asked the unintentional riddle: “If Britain’s first, what’s second?”
The question came from Billy Michaels, a seven year old from Rochdale, who politely approached the group during their weekend march. While his question was merely the simple misunderstanding of a child lacking the basic knowledge of how nationalism, politics, or indeed titles work – it sparked a chain of confused self-doubt throughout the movement.
Paul Golding, Chief Bastard of the party, was the first to respond with the concise answer “Nothing.” When pressed to expand he added: “Britain comes first, second, third, fourth and whatever comes after fourth. End of.”
Jayda Fransen, the group’s near-human deputy, is reported to have pondered the question for approximately eight hours before eventually asking “Is it the troops? Something to do with the troops?”
When asked if she was referring to the British armed forces she became immediately distraught, laughing maniacally.
Reports say that many of the group’s higher chain of command have been found wandering the streets in a “trance like state,” seemingly unresponsive to human contact and repeating out loud, “What comes second?”
Jim Dowson, a principal funder of the party failed to respond to the question, instead choosing to tear off his clothes, roll his eyes back in their sockets and continuously scream “WHAT COMES SECOND?!” into a temporal void of his own imagining.
