Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald’s.

“Donald is very sensitive about the fact that Barrack has a much larger one than he has. It’s much, much bigger than his and reaches places that Donald can only dream of. When I first saw it I must admit, I was very impressed and a little bit frightened.”

Donald can often be seen playing with his in public while Barrack rarely gets his out, though when he does people always stop what they’re doing and give it the attention it deserves.

“Donald plays with his little one so much that if he’s not careful he’s going to go blind.” One expert told The Rochdale Herald.

Barack Obama now has the third most followed Twitter account in the whole world with more than 86 million followers compared to Donald’s meagre 26 million followers.

He also has bigger hands and according to rumours a much bigger, you know…intellect.

What did you think we meant?

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.