The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed to follow his triple underlined order to vote for article 50, he has sent all his old pals to the naughty corner.
In a bid to restore authority, he has promoted his trusty teddy bear collection and “goo-gah” the security blanket into the new cabinet.
We managed to get a statement from Flopsy the Bunny;
“We always told Jeremy we were his bestest friends but he’s been hanging about with the other children of late. We’d felt a bit left out on top of the wardrobe and, to be honest, as a result, he’d been neglecting us a bit these past few months.
“But now Jeremy knows how right we were about being his trusted ones! The other children just like to play their own games and Jeremy was crying about it.
“They said they wanted to spend their pocket money how THEY chose, but Jeremy wanted to pool it for the common good and find a plan to seize the means of production for the people.
“Me and Mickey the Huggle Monkey reminded him we were still here and could help out. So he’s called us all down to sit in his shadow cabinet, which is a little like the wardrobe but we all sit around a table with him instead.
“It’s great to see him sucking on the corner of ‘goo-gah’ again, just like the old days; pouring grown up tea into plastic cups and sharing with the three bears and all the other teddy toys
“Tomorrow we will all be making mudpies and Daisy chains together in a team effort, without all those nuisance other children. Dianne Abbott has even said she will help out, if she doesn’t have another headache”
It’s hoped that the shadow cabinet and wider Labour Party faithful can now finally be unified to provide an effective and credible opposition to a Tory Party that has for so long had virtual free reign in the Play House Club.
Here’s hoping the fantasy of a Corbyn in control of his party will now be child’s play.
Regrettably, we doubt it.
