Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline into casual racism.
“I first noticed the symptoms in my dad a few years ago,” she said. “It was little things at first, like tutting when he heard somebody speaking Polish on the bus or muttering about ‘political correctness’ every time he saw Naga Munchetty.
“These days he can’t help but roar ‘Hear, hear!’ whenever he hears Nigel Farage say something about immigration, and we fear it’s only a matter of time before he starts sharing Britain First memes on Facebook.”
Smith’s brother, Chris, 32, also expressed concerns after noticing similar symptoms in their mother.
“I hope to fuck it’s not genetic,” he said. “We thought dad was bad but mum’s also started to go downhill. I had to explain to her at least six times that there isn’t a global Islamic plot to infiltrate her badminton club, and then we had a big argument about whether or not halal food causes cancer.
“Family meals are always pretty bleak but these days it’s like sitting down to dinner inside Jan Moir’s head,” he added.
Casual racism is a common occurrence amongst the over 50’s, though its exact cause remains unclear. Professor Graham Spigot, head of neuroscience at Rochdale’s Community University, explained, “Casual racism is a tragic and often debilitating affliction, and one that can place a significant moral burden on the relatives of those affected.”
“The mechanisms underlying the condition have yet to be identified, however, it has been shown that its onset can be delayed by keeping your mind active, socialising with people from different ethnic backgrounds, and not believing everything you read in The Daily Fucking Mail.”
