Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Mr Farage collapsed after the High Court ruled that Parliament will have to vote to trigger Article 50. In effect ruling that British sovereignty lies with Parliament and not Facebook.
“But, but, but, but, but, Brexit.” He was heard to be muttering to himself as he was loaded into the back of an ambulance by several men in white coats.
“Well obvs we want British elected officials to make the important decisions we’ve elected them to make and not unelected European officials. Obvs.” A UKIP spokesthug told us “just not on this issue. Obvs! We were thinking Parliament could vote on the important stuff like the bendiness of bananas and leave all the trivial stuff like the economy and sovereignty to us and Facebook polls.”
Nigel is thought to have collapsed under the weight of the realisation that he might have to challenge today’s Brexit ruling in the European Court of Justice.
“A human brain can’t take that much irony in one go.” Dr Looney from Broadmoor Hospital told us. “Fortunately for Mr Farage it looks like he might not actually be one, we’re running tests. He’ll be here a while.”