Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it’s “shoving left wing propaganda down our throats.
“Well, he looks like someone who knows a thing or two about shoving things down his throat,” said our anonymous BBC source, “and I suppose if you’re the kind of half-wit who gets their news from Russia Today and Infowars then any else looks pretty left wing to you.”
The BBC, which has its output effectively controlled and monitored by the state has been found to have a slight establishment bias but to be not particularly unbalanced by everyone that’s ever analysed it.
“There was that point just before the Iraq invasion when it looked like it was rebellious,” our source pointed out, “because it was the only broadcaster bothering to point out that the government intelligence was a frigging A level essay they’d nicked from the web! But the Blair government battered the shit out of them for it.”
With Murdoch’s Sky News and the traditionally conservative leaning ITV news being the competition, could it be that Mr Etheridge is merely making a comparison?
“Not really. He’s just a lying, far right shit and he’s appealing to the lowest common denominator; targeting the thick racist twerps who share Britain First memes.”
Indeed the ex-conservative whose wife caught him banging a young party worker says he wants to fight the establishment he’s been trying to become part of for decades by demanding cheap beer and the return of the death penalty.
“Despite being an MEP, the thick gobshite is about as likely to lead this has-been party as Karl Marx’s left nipple,” said a UKIP spokesbigot, “We might be desperate for another populist tosspot but even we have standards. Low ones, admittedly, but not that low.”
UKIP still exist at the time of going to press. Nobody is quite sure why.
