White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was part of a series of cultural events showcasing the rich ethnic, religious and cultural diversity of the United States, featured a hog roast, a mock lynching, a hoedown and a twelve fingered Appalachian banjo player.
The event was hosted by the US Senate hopeful Dr David Duke, former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, and TV evangelist Kevin Swanson, who famously advocated drowning children rather than letting them read, who released a joint statement saying that things got “a little out of hand when we polished off the last of the moonshine. We’re not sure who brought the cross or who lit it, but it was a magical moment.”
A White House official told our US political correspondent Scott McCracknee;
“Well, obviously we shall have to cut out that entire section of lawn and re-sod it. We’ll water it two to three times daily and feed it regularly. In the fall, we’ll hollow-tine the whole area and brush in a good quality top dressing. Next summer it should be as good as new.”
Donald Trump said in response to the news;
“Political correctness has gone mad. It’s great to see white culture and American history being celebrated in this way. Together we can make America great again. I was planning to cover the South Lawn in marble anyway. Nobody covers stuff in marble like me. I’m the best at covering stuff in marble.”
