In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today’s Supreme Court judgement on Article 50 to the European Court of Justice.

“The sovereignty of the UK Parliament is a paramount objective of Brexit, and in order to achieve that, it will be necessary to circumvent the sovereignty of the UK Parliament and get a ruling imposed from a higher court in Europe,” she explained.

When asked what the Government’s response would be if the appeal failed, she responded;

“Well that would be typical of Europe, interfering in the affairs of a member nation and imposing legal structures against the interests of a sovereign state. This is exactly why we voted to leave the European Union and forge ahead on our own, taking back control of our own laws.”

She has also vowed to elevate key Leave protagonists to the House of Lords, in order rebalance the second chamber, which she has described as “a bunch of remoaning bastards who aren’t going to get away with thwarting the designs of our sovereign lord, Rupert Murdoch.”

Nigel Farage, soon to be Lord Farage of Toad Hall, was last seen in a corner, smashing himself in the face with a bag full of sovereigns.

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