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Wrandle River

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Man Bun

Man buns proven to reduce transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases

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The Rochdale Royal Institute of Sexual Health have released the results of a study demonstrating man buns as a proven way to reduce the...

George Osborne admits he’s Banksy confessing “it was my first job”

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Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

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'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...
Samantha Cameron

Austerity horror as Samantha Cameron admits to sending her cook to Aldi

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Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi. And it gets...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

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Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

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Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Sad Dog

Family dog requests compassionate leave to mourn arrival of baby

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Charlotte, a seven year old English Bulldog, is heart broken after a new baby was born this morning in her family. She admits to being...
Boris Johnson Football

Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...

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This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

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Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...

Overtired parent looking forward to grocery shopping alone for the ‘me time’

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An overtired parent 'who can have your name if you like' is looking forward to going grocery shopping later without their children so they...

Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal

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The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...

Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night

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BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

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The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...

Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam

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The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...

Unemployed layabout doesn’t want £350m a year job shaking hands and waving

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The people of the United Kingdom were reassured this morning by Prince Harry's statement that he does not want to be king and will...

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