Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi.
And it gets worse.
Rumour has it the self-employed mother has even started sewing her own clothes. She can no longer afford Versace. She can no longer afford Gucci.
The Rochdale Herald’s Working Mothers correspondent spoke to a family friend about the Cameron’s budget struggles since David left office last year.
“Did you know they are drinking champagne from Aldi?” Ms Multi Gucci gasped. “One day the Aldi was closed because someone had vomited in the fruit and veg. The chauffeur had to drive cook all the way to Lidl. It was terrifying.”
But surely straights can’t be that tightened for a family with so much inherited wealth?
“Are you seroius? You take on a £3.5M mortage!” Ms Gucci replied. “I mean, it wouldn’t have been so bad if Dave hadn’t gone and spunked £25,000 on a bloody shed!”
But surely Mr Cameron needs somewhere to keep his tools?
“Not at the expense of clothing the children in Gucci. You’re an animal. Are all of the people from Rochdale so envious?”
But didn’t Dave earn £120,000 for a one hour speech?
“That’s a zero hours contract. How are you supposed to give children falconry lessons on zero hours work?”
“Anyway. Samantha can really empathise with the nurses and firefighters now. After so much hardship. She’s been at it with needle and thread for months to come up with a solution.”
And what a solution indeed.
“You know, I’ve heard the Daily Mail are going to run adverts for free in their fashion supplement. And every nurse can cut out a coupon and get a free bacon sarnie if they present the coupon when purchasing a budget priced dress for only £280.”
That’s a fantastic deal!
But tell her she’s been rash sending cook to Aldi, Wolf Blass Red Label Chardonnay £5.00 a bottle at another well known budget supermarket that starts with an A…