Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
Dayglo baboon impersonator and presidential nominee Donald Trump has vowed to sue all the women he allegedly groped and fondled and in at least one case allegedly raped as a child.
Donald’s legal team are said to be absolutely buzzing at the news and have been able to upgrade both their corporate jets and the company yacht.
“This is awesome news. We know how how many women Donald has has err, allegedly, what’s a polite word for raped? Had ‘surprise sex’ with or do you prefer ‘struggle cuddle’. We’ve been paying them off for years. He’s been at this for fifty years. We are going to make so much money from Donald, we’re talking thousands of law suits.” A spokeslitigator told us.
“Unless he’s lying and doesn’t plan to sue all the women he’s attacked, then we’re going to have to send the jets back. Shit. You don’t think he might be lying do you?”
Donald Trump described the women he has had sex with in an interview with Howard Stern as his “victims”. We’re trying to write satire, honestly we are.
