Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; “The ballot will be simple” she said. “There’s three boxes, soft, medium or hard.”
A full explanation of the options are available on the Conservative website which will self destruct after the vote. They are outlined below;
Soft: We pretty much stay the same as we are now but we can call the French twats with impunity.
Medium: We remain part of the single market but will have to endure Polish strawberry pickers.
Hard: All of our trade deals have to be renegotiated which could take decades. We’ll also have to kiss goodbye to the NHS as all of its staff will be sent home.
Micheal Ray-Cist, a spokesgit for UKIP said;
“This is ludicrous. If we were in power there’d be a super hard Brexit where we’d just twat all the Johnny Foreigners.”
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