A family pet in North Yorkshire has jumped to the conclusion that he is about to go for a walk after his owner crossed his legs on the sofa while drinking a cup of coffee this morning.
Geoffrey, a cocker spaniel from Boston Spa, also to known to locals as FOR FUCK’S SAKE COME BACK YOU BASTARD and GEOOOOFFREY, was lying calmly by the sofa when the incident happened.
“He definitely moved. I saw it, that means we immediately go to Def Con Four High Alert Panic Stations.”
Geoffrey told The Rochdale Herald “I heard his newspaper rustle slightly and his foot definitely moved a little bit.”
“Clearly this means that we’re about to go on patrol. Captain Friend Beast obviously wants to go outside and scream GEOFFREY COME BACK at me for an hour while I try to find a small animal to kill.”
“Why else would he make an almost imperceptible movement.”
Geoffrey’s owner said “bloody dog.”
