People who are utter and complete bastards have confirmed that morning is the best time of the day.
Groundbreaking research by researchers at the Institute of Institutes has revealed that people who like to be awoken by birdsong at the crack of dawn are dreadful.
“They might seem friendly and optimistic. They might even make you a cup of tea. But don’t let that fool you. They are detestable bastards and should be avoided completely before noon.” Professor Henry Winkler, Head of Lie In Research told The Rochdale Herald.
“The UK Government is seriously considering making it a criminal offence to throw open the curtains and say “wakey wakey Mr Sleepy Head.”
Legislation is already being considered in fifty states in the US to make waking somebody up by pulling the duvet off them at 6am a crime punishable by the death penalty.
Both sides of the Senate have offered full support for the bill.
Amnesty International released a statement saying; “The only way to deal with these inconsiderate, productive, optimistic, friendly bastards is to have them all rounded up and shot.”
