Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night’s election which securing his place as leader of the USA.
As predicted, Putin secured his place in history with a massive majority. After all the counting had been done, it turned out he had 176.8 Million votes. Which is very impressive for a country who boasts a population of only 144 Million.
Obviously the White House is saying little about the massive victory of the bare chested, hunky Russian. Senior White House officials are still trying lamely to keep up the facade that Putin is the enemy and has no influence in American politics.
After his decisive victory, Vladimir Putin’s closest contender, Pavel Grudinin of The Communist Party picked up 5 votes. We tried speaking to him but he accidentally killed himself on a park bench early this morning.