Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says broke a confidentiality agreement about an affair he claims not to have had.
Stable genius, Donald Trump, has instructed his lawyers to sue Stormy Daniels after claiming she breached the confidentiality agreement about the sex he claims he wasn’t having with her while his wife was pregnant, at least 20 times.
The president’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, has claimed he paid her $130,000 of his own money to keep quiet about definitely not having had sex with the President.
This is the first time President Trump and all round super clever stand up guy has become directly involved in the case. He “vehemently denies” the alleged affair, which allegedly happened while his wife was pregnant.
The lawyer for Stormy Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, filed a lawsuit aiming to scrap the non-disclosure agreement for the affair the President didn’t happen.
“Hasn’t Stormy suffered enough? Sex with Donald Trump was the worst 20 seconds of my client’s life. And he has a tiny Willy and cries afterwards, there are pictures.”
Lawyers for the President responded by saying; “Our client would have been fantastic at sex if he had been having sex with Stormy, but he wasn’t and she should stay quiet about never having had sex with him or even having met him and he has a massive willy. God I hate my life.”
