Space – Mere months after it was revealed Om.. Oom.. that cigar shaped asteroid, was believed to have come from a distant solar system, the world of science has been rocked with the news that glimpses of the asteroid’s violent past are concurrent with being dragged up in Blackburn.
Scientists made the breakthrough after previous suspicions the space rock’s roots originated in Burnley were swiftly kiboshed when what appeared to be a 6th finger was revealed to be a shard of ice, but paved the way for research into it’s ever so slightly different East Lancashire drawl that had previously puzzled scientists.
Foul mouthed Oumuamuamauamaua is currently hurtling through the solar system with a can of Breaker and wearing a knock off Stone Island jacket, and further research into the composition of its distinctive cigar like shape discovered hints of Amber Leaf and low grade resin, revealing the shape to be less Monte Cristo and more interstellar bifter.
NASA spokesthing Dr Servor Dratsab also confirmed signals aimed at the asteroid positing that Leicester City’s 2015/16 title winning side was the best ever Premier League underdog story was met with a torrent of abuse & chants of ‘THERE’S ONLY ONE JACK WALKURRR’
Fellow asteroid Reven Yan-No also told reporters his dealings with Omooomooomm to have been less than cordial. ‘I once accidentally bumped into him on the way back from the bar, accidentally spilling 0.000000000356596565L his drink and he immediately offered me the oppurtunity ‘to take it outside.’
‘When I pointed out that we are in space and that there is in fact no ‘outside’ and the closest thing to outside would mean us entering a blackhole, he briefly paused before shooting off for the orbit of Sirius A singing ‘KENNY DALGLISH IS MAGIC’
‘He’s a rotter’
