United Kingdom – A bloke from the United Kingdom has become the first man ever to make a donation to charity without sexually assaulting a stranger, according to reports.
Steve Dickinson, 42 and a half, from Milnrow near Rochdale somehow managed to overcome his most primal urges to feel up girls whilst dropping a fifty pence piece into a hospice collection bucket outside Asda.
“I was very grateful not to have been molested like all those women at the Presidents Club Party over the weekend.” Hillary Binton, a seventy three year old charity volunteer told The Rochdale Herald.
“It can be quite distressing fending off unwanted sexual advances from strange men while collecting money for dying children outside Asda. But I suppose it’s completely understandable and not even a little bit odd.”
“He just pottered over and dropped a coin in the collection bucket without honking one of my boobies or putting his hand on my bottom. He didn’t even ask me for a handy behind the bottle bank or show me his winky. It is was quite weird.”
Steve added: “I know that men usually find it impossible to donate money to charity without putting their hands up a stranger’s skirt, like those completely normal blokes at The Presidents Club.”
“It was quite absent minded of me not to at the very least have given Hillary a little pat on the bottom. I hope she’s not offended.”
“I’m now up for a Pride of Britain Award, I’ll be on Good Morning Britain tomorrow and if I was a woman they were going to have me on Woman’s Hour on Radio 4. But they don’t let men on.”
