Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump’s willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s.
It is being reported around the world in the mainstream media that top White House aide Ivanka Trump has averted Nuclear Armageddon by assuring Kim Jong Un that he probably has a bigger willy than her Dad.
Sources close to the President didn’t tell The Rochdale Herald because we write jokes that: “As you well know it’s not the angle of the dangle it’s the projection of the erection that’s important.”
“Are we talking about ding-a-lings again or about nuclear rockets? You never know around here. If it’s willies again I’m not getting involved, when you want to talk about missiles let me know.”
How Ivanka knows how big her father’s willy is is a matter for speculation, but it’s most likely that he’s just told her:
“Honestly. It’s all he talks about all day everyday. We examined satellite photographs of Kim Jong Un’s spam javelin from orbit and using all the resources of the CIA, the NSA and NASA we were able to establish, from the position of the Sun and other factors that Kim’s tiny penis is a little bit bigger than Donald’s.”
“We used a very scientific method to calculate the exact size of Donald’s. Looking at the size of other appendages, his hands, and divided how long he had said his knob was by how often he had told us how big it was and Bob’s your uncle.”
Melania has assured The Rochdale Herald that Donald is unlikely to be pushing any of her or any other buttons any time soon.
