Disgraced veteran mouser Larry the Downing Street Cat on Friday admitted to allegations of sexual misconduct that were levelled against him earlier in the week.
In the statement, which was shared with The Rochdale Herald, Larry sort of expressed remorse to the other cats, whose experiences were reported by Cat Monthly Magazine on Tuesday.
The Downing street cat released a statement regarding the claims: “The power I had over these other cats is that they were a bit smaller than me. And I wielded that power irresponsibly.”
“These stories are true. At the time, I said to myself that what I did was okay because I’m a cat, and well, frankly, quite a big and quite a mean cat.” Larry said.
“But what I learned later in life, too late, is that just because you’re a massive, mean, powerful cat it doesn’t mean you can just screw all the other cats just because they aren’t strong enough to fight you off. I was bigger than the other cats and I wielded that power irresponsibly.”
Larry has implied that he is planning to take a career break from Downing Street as a result of the revelations, a development that may be imposed on him anyway after forty MP’s suggested that they would be prepared to vote no confidence in Theresa May.
Larry has said that: “over the course of my long and lucky career as a cat I have been able to pretty much have sex with or kill anything I want with impunity.”
“I don’t expect that’ll change anytime soon.”
