Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump’s director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered the ignominy of being rejected by the rock he crawled out from under.
“That Wackestone is the victim of his own potty mouth – if he will insist on using Obsidianties he should expect to get Slated,” said the rock in an interview with Rochdale Herald Geology supplement, The Millstone Gritter.
“We may have been Lavas, but I’m a Gneiss rock, there’s no way I’m allowing that Schist back under me in the same Sedimentary bed,” she added, giving her name as “Beryl”.
“He thinks he’s so Tuff, but that Sodic Pseudotachylite can Fluckite off,” she spat.
Wall Street too appears unlikely to roll out the red Garnet and welcome back its former Aluminite with several former employers including Gold Manganese Saxonite confirming that as far as they were concerned Scaramucci was beyond the Pearl.
Fears that Sacaramucci might respond to his sacking by exposing President Trump and his family as Crookesites were assuaged Tuesday when it became apparent that as part of his termination package he had agreed to keep his Deccan Trap firmly shut. “That Schist better do as he agreed or he’ll be Coprolite,” said a White (Gypsum) House spokesman Bob Fossil.
However despite the setbacks the future for Scaramucci may not be as black Basalt as it first appears. “Speaking the Herald a spokesman for New York University faculty of geology confirmed that plenty of openings exist for a foul mouthed Fukuchilite, with a talent for distracting attention from his employer.
“Tony Blairmorite for one is in desperate need of someone to take the Flake while he stays well Hiddenite after the UK High Court’s decision that he can’t be prosecuted for declaring Wardite on Iraq.
“If only the lying Stalactite had invaded Iran instead, then we could have used Iranite for one final rocking run of pun fun,” he lamented.
