A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man’s poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on.
Speaking exclusively to the Herald she said,
“I was stood at the bus stop when I saw this car approach. It swung left, then right, the there was a noise as the handbrake was applied. Next it slid sideways into a traffic island and stalled.
It was such a turn on. Like watching Tom Hardy read my self penned London’s Burning fan fiction. My passions were inflamed and I knew then that I had to get with a man whose handbrake turns were that poorly judged.”
Twenty year old Martin Williams restarted the car then did a perfectly executed nine point turn and stopped at the bus stop to talk to Mary MacKenzie.
On speaking to her he managed to persuade her to go with him to the local chippy. They had a slap up meal of chips and curry sauce then made passionate love in the back of William’s BMW.
Other Rochdale residents have noticed the trend as well.
Thunder Ball, a leading member of Rochdale’s premier stripping troupe, The Apollo Men said,
“We noticed a few years ago that women really love a man who poorly executes handbrake turns. Now our show mostly consists of us wearing thongs and performing handbrake turns really badly. The women love it. We’ve seen our takings go up 7500000000%.”
Rochdale’s premier porn producer, Rornhub have also noticed the popularity. They’ve reported a massive increase in female subscribers since they started showing footage of illegal drift events.
One spokesman said,
“We’re not sure what it is but our women can’t get enough. We’ve seen record profits the last two years.”
Mary MacKenzie said,
“I think it’s the devil may care attitude to judging speed and distance that gets me. My previous boyfriend had terrible depth perception. It’s like I see these guys and think to myself, that’s the man for me. One with no depth perception.”
