In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is linked to his unconventional hairstyle.
We spoke to his hairstylist, Quiff Richard, who had a lot to say;
“Unmanageable is not the word bruv. It defies logic and physics. It’s like it’s trying to leave Boris’s scalp. It’s the only explanation for him joining the leave campaign after being pro EU. Nothing to do with him being an opportunist and trying to become Prime Minister. It was just the signals from his hair screaming leave into his quite roomy cranium. It’s definitely got more influence over him than you think. Look at the time he got stuck on that zip wire, helmet on. He upset the entire Sikh community the other week. If he has got his hair covered, he goes to fucking bits. Every time he comes in I get the cllippers and the number 1 guard out just to see the look on his face”
