President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning “followers of Aslan” from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and ice queens, though Kellyanne Conway has secured an exemption.
The wardrobe Border has been closed and it is believed that Edmund, Susan and Mr Tumnus have been detained in the departure bedroom.
Mr Trump said “Narnia is full of radicalised Aslanists and we need to get control of our borders”
However a spokesman for the Narnia Government, Lucy Pevency, said “Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus that Trump is such a massive penis.”
