A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult.
Bill Board has spent the last week in Liverpool at the conference and told us, “I got back to work and everyone assumed I’d been somewhere nice. I told them I’d been to the Labour Party conference and they just laughed. My mate Stan said he couldn’t do that as he thought there was too much of a cult around Corby. I’ve told Momentum what he said and he didn’t come back from dinner so that’s a good thing. He was probably a Tory anyway.”
Bill’s mother said, “I ironed his Jeremy Corbyn t-shirt for him. He asked if I’d vote for Corbyn. I said I wasn’t sure as I agree with a lot of his sentiments and I loved the seventies but I don’t think I could wear platform shoes again. Bill went mad and told me that must mean I hate the poor and want to see them all die. I thought that was a bit aggressive. Anyway, my name’s been put on the Momentum list of undesirables.”
We tried to get an interview with Bill but he was busy composing a new song about Jeremy Corbyn and finishing a huge painting of him using Bills own excrement.
