A middle aged man has today made another middle aged man aware that he doesn’t like him by standing outside the man’s home and yelling at his 11 year old child.

Bill Board tracked Jacob Rees-Mogg’s address down using the internet, turned up unannounced and told his son “Your daddies a horrible man.”

Board, a member of the Labour Front for Peaceful Protest told us, “I was sticking up for the little man by landing a blow for the Labour movement. It’s a known fact that if you disagree with someone the best way to express this is to stand outside their house like some sort of deranged stalker and yell at their kids. That always works.”

Bill’s friend Stan said, “It’s pretty usual for Bill to threaten someone’s kids to be honest. Once a bloke on our street kept parking in front of his house so Bill went and threatened this blokes kid. It didn’t really work out on that occasion as the kid told his dad who came around and battered Bill.”

It’s understood that Bill’s next target will be a youth club or a mother and toddler group.

A spokesman for the Labour Front for Peaceful Protest told us, “This is being blown out of all proportion. The man’s son came out of the house so he brought it on himself. There’s no way that it could have been foreseen that that would happen if you stand outside someone’s house like a deranged stalker. Anyway it’s clearly a media conspiracy designed to defect from the 80,000,000 people Theresa May personally killed last week.”

It’s understood that Bill’s supporters can’t see the issue with turning up at somebodies house unannounced and yelling at their children. To this we say, even though Jacob Rees-Mogg is a class A¬†bellend who seems intent on destroying the United Kingdom and consigning us all to the poor house. How the hell would you feel if some complete stranger stood outside your house yelling at your kids you total cement heads?

SHARE
Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.