Jeremy Corbyn has caused fresh controversy by appearing on BBC Breakfast wearing a Beret and eating Normandy Scallops. Mr Corbyn was appearing to deny yesterday’s controversy when the incident happened prompting floods of complaints from obese, ruddy faced, middle aged men who talk only in capital letters and definitely don’t have a drink problem.
One, Cliff Edge told us, “I NEARLY SPAT MY FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST OUT WHEN I SAW TRAITOR CORBYN THERE WITH THE SCALLOPS AND BERET. HE SHOULD BE STICKING UP FOR OUR FISHERMEN WHETHER THEY”RE IN THE RIGHT OR WRONG. I BET HE WANTS THAT FRENCH BIRD TO WIN BAKE OFF AS WELL.”
Another said, “I DON’T WANT TO SEE CORBYN EATING COCKY ST JACKS (sic) AT 8AM. WHO EAT’S SCALLOPS ANYWAY? CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKEYS, THAT’S WHO.”
Mr Corbyn then attempted to calm the situation but caused fresh controversy on Good Morning Britain by refusing to say whether he’d support a nuclear attack on Paris if the Government proposed it. Cliff told us, “I DON’T KNOW WHY WE’RE EVEN DISCUSSING IT. THEY SHOULD TELL THE NAVY TO LAUNCH NUCLEAR MISSILES AT FRANCE NOW. THAT’S THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE.”
Sky News reported that they had been inundated with calls for Britain to go to war with France without hesitation. One reporter said, “All day we’ve had these people saying we should go to war with them. It’s always some fat, old, alcoholic bloke who can’t fight his way out of the chair in his front room demanding it though.”
We tried to get a comment from Mr Corbyn but he was too busy composing tomorrow’s apology.
