Angela Merkel is reported to be ecstatic about spending the summer Interrailing with Michael Gove. Gove will be Interrailing as part of the Governments plans to sell Brexit to European leaders before they reject the plan in October.

A spokesman for Merkel said, “The tickets were received yesterday. Mr Gove will meet Angela in Berlin. They will then travel to Trier, Warsaw, Krakow, Prague, Trieste and Vienna. During the trip they will discuss the Governments Brexit plan in detail and have time to get to know each other. Angela can play the spoons to keep them amused and Michael has promised a 2 hour presentation on recycling policy. As you can probably appreciate, this will be fun with a capital F.”

Elsewhere, Emmanuel Macron is preparing to host Jeremy Hunt. A spokesman for the French Government said, “Mr Macron is looking forwar to going camping in the Dordogne with Mr Hunt. They’ll be joined by the Spanish Prime Minister. They’ll play some crazy golf and compare hideous beach wear. They’ll also be performing lunges every morning. It’s hoped that the sight of each others semi naked bodies will bring them together.”

And it’s not just the Government who are planning to go to Europe. Nigel Farage is rumoured to be lanning a trip across Russia to a Diamond mine that he’s been promised he will own by somebody who contacted him through Facebook. Mr Farage said, “This nice gentleman told me I had inherited a diamond line in the will of a person I’d never heard of before. I just had to send 500 quid to a Moscow address then fly to St Petersburgh to meet a man called Dimitri.”

It’s rumored that Jeremy Corbyn will be working part time in his local Morrisons after being fired from his job at B&Q.

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.