Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise missile attack on Tuesday next week.
The surprise attack comes in response to accusations that the Assad regime dropped a barrel bomb full of chlorine gas on civilians in the Syrian town of Douma north of Damascus last week.
“We’ve coordinated with the joint chiefs about developing an appropriate response to the actions of President Assad.” A spokes-genius for the White House told The Rochdale Herald.
“The right course of action is an attack next week which will take them completely off guard. We’ve scheduled one for Tuesday.”
“It’s a really clever strategy, everybody on Twitter likes it.”
“They won’t be expecting a surprise attack. That’s called strategy. Lucky we have Donald in charge to think of stuff like this.”
