A Rochdale man has come to the realisation he’s middle aged after sustaining a neck injury whilst putting on a jumper.
Stan Still, 38, said, “I was stood getting ready for work. It’s still chilly so I thought I’d put a knitted jumper on. I was just putting it over my head and it snagged. I pulled it a little harder and there was this searing pain going through my neck. It’s now really stiff and I’m walking around hunched up.”
Mr Still, who never played rugby or anything athletic has spent the last week week pretending he got the injury in a scrum.
“I had to got to the doctors on Wednesday. I needed Co-codamol or something. Anyway, the only appointment I could get was 9:30 Wednesday. I called work up and there was the horrible realisation. I can’t tell them I injured myself putting a knitted jumper on. So, I said I’d said some fairy controversial stuff in the pub whilst drunk and got into a fight.”
The excuse helped Stan get off work however, he now has to attend an alcoholics anonymous group.
“My boss was really good. Or would be if I had an alcohol problem as she’s coming with me to the group for support.”
It’s also understood that Stan has been told he has to wear a neck brace.
“It’s alright but I look like I’m trying to scam an insurance company. Worse, whilst wearing it I was involved in a car crash and an ambulance was called to deal with my neck injury. I was so worried I said it was an aggravated rugby injury. Anyway, to cut a long story short I’m now suing the bloke I hit for my neck injury as I dare not tell people I got it from a jumper.”
It’s understood that Stan is now being followed round by unconvincing undercover insurance inspectors.
“That bloke over there. He’s an inspector. I have to wear this stupid neck brace to keep him from dubbing me in. It’s all because it’s so embarrassing injuring yourself putting a jumper on. It’s such a middle aged injury.”
