Diners in a Milnrow curry house were astonished as the 45th (and probably last) President of the USA stopped an armed bandit carrying out a knifepoint robbery.
Dhansak enthusiast Simon Dhansak said “I was in the Shimla at my usual table enjoying a dhansak when a thin rat-faced youth in a hoodie came in brandishing a blade. I tried to hide behind my jumbo hanging naan bread but he came over to me and demanded my wallet.
“Just as I was about to hand it over, the door burst open and this big orange fella came lumbering up and whacked the youth round both chops with a stiff armed swipe. It was just like that old Tango advert that left children with burst eardrums except for the fact this guy had a stupid wig on.”
Police later confirmed that viewing cctv confirmed the vigilante was indeed President Donald Trump of That America. Trump later tweeted: “Yet another crime foiled by the best POTUS ever. Did Obama ever stop a felony in a Lancashire Asian restaurant? I don’t think so!”
Barack Obama later pointed out that he had in fact kicked the shit out of a guy sexually harassing a waitress in a Chinese restaurant in Chorley in 2012.
