The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a step closer to the White House.
Directors were quoted as saying bankruptcy was the only viable option remaining to show that the Producer has the business nous for the White House. “The Weinstein Company has been engaged in an active sale process in the hopes of preserving assets and jobs,” the board said in a statement reported by several US newspapers.
“Today, we have to conclude that Harvey has spunked it all away.”
The statement said “an orderly bankruptcy process” was a “tried and tested method to demonstrate an alleged serial sex offender has the skills needed to run for President”. A civil rights lawsuit against the company alleging Mr Weinstein has sexually harassed and abused women employed by the studio for years has caused support for the potential POTUS to surge in traditional Republican heartlands.
The Herald can exclusively reveal that Harvey Weinstein will embark on a NRA funded speaking tour where he will explain in lurid detail how his sexual activity was all consensual. A line from a leaked draft of the speech reads “All women in my employ had a second amendment right to bear arms. If the sexual activity was anything other than consensual, they would have shot me, and they would have had my full support in that.”
A Republican Weinstein 2020 ticket may lose some votes due to his less than WASPish surname, but with Democrats still talking about Oprah 2020, party bosses are convinced he is definitely white, male, rapey and stupid enough to get elected.
If Weinstein can manage another five business bankruptcies he will reach the GOP’s “orange standard” of electability.
