Britain’s gyms are in a state of absolute chaos as billions of people descended on them today.
It was standing room only in every single gym in the country with many people experiencing queues of up to four hours for a five minute go on something called an ‘elliptical machine’, whatever that is.
There were ugly scenes in dozens of gyms as supplies of bottled water and protein shakes began to run low.
Local fatty George Elliott said: “I’m just glad I got my go on the bicycle thingy and that I’m fit now.”
“It was bedlam in there. I don’t know how people go all year round if it that’s busy everyday.”
“I queued three hours for three hours for five minutes on a rowing machine, I did a bicep curl in the free weight room and then spent an hour in the sauna.”
“I’m feeling pumped. I can’t wait until my next visit next year.”
