A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Thomas Thomas of Nether Wallop in Hampshire, who has been left unsupervised since Friday lunchtime, has forgone all other activity in exchange for a weekend of veging out on the sofa, watching the telly and eating Chinese food.
“Well, you know how it is,” Thomas slurred from underneath the duvet. “I know she left me a list of jobs to do this weekend but the weather’s not great and, to be fair, I just need a little me time.”
Thomas had been supposed to do some vital housework while his long suffering partner was away visiting her family but has yet to find the ‘bothered’ to be able to get round to it.
“Now I’ve worked out how to cast Netflix to the telly in the bedroom I might not even bother moving to the sofa to be honest and, given enough time, the dogs will work out how to let themselves out. It’s just so cosy….” Thomas mumbled from behind a chocolate eclair.
Thomas blames his wife, who insisted on putting the heating on on Thursday, for his predicament.
“She knows I can’t do two things at the same time so, out of watching the new season of Narcos and cleaning the flat, Pablo Escobar wins I’m afraid. Could you pass me that packet of digestives please mate and I don’t suppose you could knock me up a bacon sandwich before you go could you?”
And with that his eyes glazed over and he returned to his Netflix induced stupor.
