Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take a carrier bag with him to Asda this afternoon.
Rochdale man of the year Steve Dickinson, 42 and a half, is being credited with saving every living thing on the planet by environmentalists and academics the world over after he told a checkout worker in Rochdale Asda that he didn’t need a carrier bag, because he had remembered his own.
“It was an incredible moment, I’m just happy that I could be there to witness the world being saved.” Local vegan and former librarian Irene Titchmarsh told The Rochdale Herald. “A huge cheer went up in Asda when everybody realised our salvation had arrived and that he had a bag with him.”
Mr Dickinson, whose name now sits alongside former Nobel Prize nominees such as Mikaei Gorbachev, Marie Currie and Mahatma Ghandi, said:
“I just popped out to buy some milk, bin bags, whale fat, lighter fluid and some shark fins for some soup I’m making. And some more diesel. As I was leaving the house I noticed that we couldn’t get into the downstairs bog because of all the plastic bags hanging behind the door.”
“It would have been but the work of a moment to grab a bag and take it with me. But of course I forgot it, drove halfway to Asda and then got a call from Barbs telling me I left it on the side.”
“I only had to drive an extra fifteen miles. But I’m pleased to have done my bit for the environment. I saved the ice caps and five pence. Sort of.”
Steve forgot to buy milk but is looking forward to meeting Barack Obama at the Nobel Prize Awards dinner.
