Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory.
Corbyn first suspected that his not so faithful feline friend was a Thatcherite right winger when the cat, called “El Gato”, began eschewing his usual Whiskers cat food.
The MP for Islington told The Rochdale Herald “The ungrateful little sod just stopped eating the food I put down for him. He’d jump up on the garden wall and disappear as soon as we put the bowl down.
“My wife and I followed him one night. He nipped up the road to Finchley and walked in through the front door of the Conservative Club, bold as brass. Those bastards were feeding him filet steak and bloody caviar.”
The Corbyns’ suspicions were confirmed when they returned from a Labour Party fundraiser in the Prime Minister-in-waiting’s constituency of Islington late one evening to find a group calling themselves The Alleycat Club gathered in Mr Corbyn’s study, clawing at the furniture, climbing the curtains, smoking cigars and drinking brandy.
A neighbour told us that El Gato had been caught in flagrante with a Guinea pig’s head but this is unconfirmed.
“The bloody turncoat’s a Tory,” Mr Corbyn barked. “I don’t know what more I could have done. One of the first presents I bought him was a copy of Chairman Meow’s little red book. He’s a total disappointment.”
Rumours are now rife that Mrs Corbyn’s hamster is a Liberal Democrat.
