President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding “followers of Aslan” from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and particularly ice queens, although it is understood that Melania Trump has secured an exemption.
Mr Trump said “We can’t keep letting these Aslanic terrorists into our country. We have no way of vetting them. And they may need a vet also, and we’re not paying for that either”
The wardrobe Border has been closed and it is believed that Edmund, Susan, Mr Tumnus and many others have been detained in the departure bedroom.
Mr Trump said “Narnia is full of radicalised Aslanists and we need to get control of our borders. I also need to keep saying things that distract people from my ludicrous kindergarten spat with that fat rocketman”
However a spokesman for the Narnia Government, Queen Lucy Pevency, said “Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus that Trump is such a massive twat.”
