President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries volunteered to join it over the weekend.
“TREVAL BAN NOW MERIT BADGE!” he exclaimed, via Twitter.
Although all the new names on the list are not joining out of good taste, but to show solidarity to the ones already placed there out of Trump’s personal dislike for anyone not using a bedsheet as a pointy hat.
Angela Merkel instantly added Germany after winning yesterday’s German elections. Theresa May is under pressure to add the United Kingdom, although she is said to favour just adding Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales. This has added to speculation she intends to claim political asylum in America once Brexit properly implodes.
The Rochdale Herald’s Bigot Ban correspondent spoke to Handi Biscuit, UN Special Envoy leading a committee focused on in Good Taste in International Relations, or GTIR, who gave us insight into why so many countries are volunteering.
“It’s becoming a global phenomenon. Every leader of any country on earth does not like being left out of a popular international merit badge club,” Mr Biscuit stated.
“Just this morning New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh, Netherlands, Norway and Canada joined of their own violation. Australia is expected to add itself too, just as soon as they finished off loading those pesky refugees off the island holiday camp,”
It’s believed Mr Trump has received the news of the surge in support with a celebratory Twitter storm that lasted five hours, during which five more major bridges collapsed within the United States.
“USA now safest country on Earth. Fact. Losers stay home. Buy more guns! Be even safer at home with MORE GUNS AND NO IMMIGRANTS! FACTED!”
If your country is not yet on the list, you are advised to act swiftly, as you don’t want to be the last to join.
