Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British Isles.

It seems references to King Arthur and Queen Boudicca, and all that old fashioned business, are increasingly being replaced by stories of grandparents who bought a home once.

The Herald’s Psychopathy and Other Things correspondent spoke to the lead researcher to gain greater insight into this confusing trend.

“It’s especially hard to understand why, given we are in a time of record home building and tighter controls on foreign squllionaires land banking wealth in the United Kingdom.” Professor Shoosoff elaborated.

“But it seems that for a reason we haven’t quite got our finger on the stories we tell our children are definitely changing.”

One possible explanation is a deepening trend to tell young children deliberately nonsensical tales as a way of alleviating the humdrum nature of the modern world.

Issues such as global warming and the threat of nuclear armageddon having been long dealt with by the grown ups running affairs globally, who routinely get together and talk maturely and collaboratively with one another at the United Nations.

So too, more locally, issues of social mobility and ease of progression in life, through better workplace training and access to affordable education, childcare and accommodation.

“It’s a fascinating change to long standing trends, whatever the reason behind it.” Professor Shoosoff continued.

“We’re going to continue our study until we get to the bottom of this. It’s what we’re paid to do. Now, did I tell you the one about the three bed 1930’s semi my great uncle bought in 1973…”