Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst Agfhanist Afgannyst…the Taliban.
Speaking to the Rochdale Herald, White House Press correspondent, someone whose name we didn’t catch and who won’t be there next week anyway, confirmed that President Trump is looking at further possible military action in that country up a bit and left a bit from Pakistan that the president has yet to spell correctly in a tweet.
“The president told me himself that he realised the Taliban were the real threat to US security just after the first lady, Melanoma, had poured him his second cup of covfefe,” he (or possibly she, I mean who’s counting?) explained
“Then his good friend Vlad, the Russian president called to say that if he bombed North Korea he’d probably have to invade some more bits of Ukraine, to stop the Asian landmass tilting up on the right side, the president felt made good sense and sealed the deal,” he added.
“I mean the last thing we want to see is the far east any higher than it is, those guys are all tiny, the extra altitude could kill them,” he explained.
The spokesman declined to comment on what form the extra US involvement in Afganyst Agfhanist Afgannyst…. that place north of Pakistan would take.
However he did confirm that there would be no repeat of the 1980s when the CIA armed a then unknown Osama bin Laden against the Soviet backed government in Kabul, or the early 1990s when they allowed Pakistan to give military support to the Taliban allowing them to take power.
“Those lefty liberal snowflakes Reagan and Bush senior have ‘merican blood on their hands, there’s no way we’re backing the wrong guys a third time…” he sneered.
“Apart from anything else, there isn’t a single political group in the country would give us the time of day. Which in fact makes our job easier – no chance of bombing our own allies this time round!” He added.
