The head of the Amercian Automobile Association, Pete Rollhead, has today released a statement condemning the murder of an anti-fascist protestor in Charlotte, whilst defending the right of people to own cars.
As pressure grows on ‘President’ Donald Trump to denounce the scumbag Nazi terrorist who killed a young woman in cold blood, car owners everywhere were assured that their right to own cars would not be infringed.
Car owners have become increasingly emboldened under the Trump presidency, as many see the appointment of fossil fuel lobbyists into top cabinet posts as a green light to drive their petrol-guzzling penis extensions around with impunity.
“The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a good guy with a car,” said Rollhead, holding aloft the steering wheel of a 1972 Gran Torino. “In fact, if more of those people had been driving cars yesterday, I feel confident that this appalling tragedy might not have happened.”
The AAA has a long and controversial history of pushing its pro-car agenda in the wake of high-profile tragedies.
In 2010, the group prompted outrage when it proposed dropping the age required to gain a driving license to 7, in a bid to reduce the number of road accidents outside elementary schools. Two years later, it spent $100 million lobbying politicians to introduce a ‘concealed Chevy’ law, allowing citizens to drive their vehicle into any building or public space as long as they keep it hidden under a tarpaulin.
“Cars don’t kill people, people kill people!” Rollhead screamed at reporters. “I’ll give you my keys when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!”
Meanwhile, many activists pointed out that the method of yesterday’s killing was irrelevant and asked people to instead focus on the circumstances that lead to it in the first place.
“You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches,” said one Antifa protestor.
“Alternatively, you could just stop voting them into public office.”
