The allegation was made by Anthony “Fandango” Scaramucci following his removal from post.

The President’s former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former employer, calling him ‘soft in the head’. Melania Trump refused to confirm or deny the rumours, although she is believed to buy Viagra in bulk.

Trump’s titanic triumph in 2016 was in spite of the fact that the campaign was one colossal cock-up after another. The priapic presidential wannabe needed no rigging there, although if forced to make a public stand he may wilt under the spotlight.

The populist pussy-grabbing ponce declared “I never had sexual difficulties with that woman”, although whether he was referring to Melania, ‘our’ Monica “mouth-organ” Lewinsky or somebody else, was not entirely clear.

Trump and his vice president Mike Tuppence were described by Hillary Clinton’s team as “a pair of utter tits”, although the words tuppence and trump suggest that the Democrats have a hazy knowledge of basic anatomy and were in completely the wrong area.

Recent revelations have shown that Trump’s habit of overstatement apparently applies to his own physical attributes. Long story short, there might not be too much down there to rig. It is alleged that the size of Trump’s bigly manhood bears comparison with the size of his bigly hands.

Steve Bannon, who certainly has experience of rigging erections, declined to comment on the rumours. An insider revealed that, though Bannon would bend over backwards to help anyone (and bend over forwards to help himself), he was fully occupied with his overinflated ego and refused to talk with his mouth full.

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