Last night a draft of Labour’s election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour’s proposed policies and 1970’s.
Daily Mail reader, John Smiff, said; “That terrorist Corbyn wants power cuts and piles of bin bags everywhere like in the 70’s. We don’t want that, Labour have no chance!”
He vented further; “We want dinner on the table when we get home from work, Fray Bentos and Angel Delight and Bernard Manning back on the telly. The good bits of the 70’s that we’ll get back once we’re out of Europe!”
Not long after, the Conservative manifesto was also leaked leading critics to believe that this was a direct retaliation to some of Labour’s more popular policies, like the ‘free puppies for 18-25 year olds’ pledge.
In it, the Tories propose 20,000 new food banks per year for 5 years, to ‘help people who are sometimes late’ and the new 100 × 0 hours contracts that will ensure people get a minimum of 100 no hours a month, to ‘help plan their strong and stable futures.’
Clementine Stardust-Gilligan, wrote in her column for the local paper of the Islington Metropolitan elite, The Guardian;
“The Conservatives illustrate once more their utter contempt for the working class, with a set of policies designed to undermine and decimate both their rights and sense of self with a frisson of tyrannical terror to boot.”
However, earlier today The Green Party manifesto was sent to all major news outlets and The Rochdale Herald by an unknown source.
They outline things like 100% tax for people earning upwards of 30k potentially and an outright ban on all engines, probably.
The truth is no one knows as non of us can be arsed reading it. It might not even be a manifesto. It’s from The Green Party and I can just make out ‘Election Man…’ in my title pane without expanding it, but it’s probably just some dogooders wish list for a fantasy utopia.
For balance, the Lib Dems are also a shower of lying shits.
